Review #130: 1999, Prince

Karla Clifton
2 min readJul 7, 2021

#130: 1999, Prince

Okay, here’s the thing — this album sent shivers down my spine. At the end of “D.M.S.R.” when Lisa Coleman of his backing band screams “HELP ME PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP ME”? And then on “Lady Cab Driver,” when he’s like, “THIS ONE’S FOR WHY I WASN’T BORN LIKE MY BROTHER, HANDSOME AND TALL” while the lady screams? I’ve reviewed Prince several times before, but this album was the first to make me frantically Google several versions of “prince allegations”, “prince crimes”, “prince murderer”. I promise you, there’s nothing! It’s unGoogleable! He was either really innocent … or really good.

I could have sworn I read something about Prince’s girlfriend saying he was weird and controlling in People a long time ago? But I couldn’t find it. Ah, well. I did find this incredible article from one of Prince’s former private chef’s. He says that Prince was insane but very nice.

I seem to be the only person on the planet who had this reaction, because the music is so distractingly fun that nobody ever mentions all the ominous sounds all over this album. More proof that Prince was probably a serial killer; he mastered the art of misdirection.

FAVORITE SONGS:

“1999”Don’t worry/ I won’t hurt you/ I only want you/ To have some fun. Nononononono.

“Little Red Corvette” — One of my ex-boyfriends put this on a mixtape he made for me, and I’m just now realizing that this might have been an insult.

“Delirious” — That baby crying at the end gives me the heebie-jeebies, too.

“Let’s Pretend We’re Married” — What a wild backbeat! This song actually is a lot of fun, I love when he asks her if she’s free for a couple of hours, or busy for the next seven years. I’m having so much fun that it scares the SHIT out of me when somebody SHRIEKS for seemingly no reason.

“D.M.S.R.” — Stands for “dance music sex romance.” Just a fun song where nobody screams for help at the end.

“Automatic” — This music video was nearly banned from MTV because turns out this isn’t an album about murder, it’s an album about BDSM. He wasn’t banned, though; he just never submitted it to the network.

“All The Critics Love U In New York” — Easy for you to say, Prince.

LEAST FAVORITE SONGS:

“Free” — Prince’s falsetto grates on me sometimes.

“International Lover” — I thought this one was boring but the flight attendant framing device is insane.

IS RS FULL OF IT?

This album is amazing…but I need to know who Prince killed.

Review #129: The Wall, Pink Floyd

Review #131: Dummy, Portishead

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